This Will Kill Your Dreams More Than Anything Else
Nine years ago, I wanted to get fired.
I was in a job that I didn’t love. Meanwhile, I was building my marketing business as a side hustle in the hours before and after work.
I was excited to work for myself full time. But, I was scared to quit my job.
That’s why, in the final months of my last job, I remember getting more audacious with my work and starting to care less about what happened if my bosses didn’t like what I was doing.
Honestly, I was almost daring them to fire me. In fact, I imagined what it would be like to get fired. I would play out the scene in my mind in a variety of different ways.
I would pretend to be upset, but honestly, I knew I would be relieved.
You see, for me, getting fired felt a lot easier than making the conscious decision to quit my job. So, I kept putting it off. And I made excuses why it wasn’t time to quit yet… we hadn’t saved up enough money or I wasn’t bringing in enough revenue with my business yet.
The Honest Truth
While there was certainly some truth to those things, it was also just an excuse to hide behind because I was scared.
I was scared about what would happen when I quit. What would happen if I couldn’t make it work? Would I be able to find clients? Would I be able to make enough money?
But almost more than anything, I worried about the actual conversation of quitting. I was terrified to tell my boss. I didn’t want to let her down. Because even though I didn’t love my job, I cared about the people I worked with.
And, I worried SO much about what my boss and peers would say when I finally handed in my notice. I dreaded that conversation more than I have any other in my life.
It’s crazy because on the other side of that conversation laid the freedom I so desperately craved.
It wasn’t until my husband and I set a deadline for me to quit that I was finally able to make it happen. We worked together toward that goal and built a plan on when and how to do it. It gave me something to work toward.
But, until that point?
I kept hoping to be fired.
Because in my mind, it was easier for my fate to be handed to me than to decide it for myself.
Are you being comfortable or courageous?
While this might sound crazy to you, we ALL have versions of this story playing out in our lives.
We wait for life to HAPPEN to us instead of making conscious choices to chase our dreams, build that business or create the life we want.
We keep waiting for that lucky break. For opportunities to fall into our lap. We wait for the right moment, the right introduction, the right sign, the right set of circumstances.
We imagine where we want to go. We see the destination. And yet, we’re doing NOTHING to get there.
Because as much as we want to reach the destination of our dreams, we like being comfortable more.
That’s why, in a lot of ways, it feels easier to do the hard things when our decisions are forced. Because at that point, we have no choice. We have to do our best with the hand we’ve been dealt.
But, willingly CHOOSING to do the hard thing?
Yeah, that’s scary.
That’s a road we don’t want to travel.
I was listening to the Big Life Devotional podcast… I wake up with it almost every morning. It’s a great show and I highly recommend it.
Anyway, on the show, Pamela said that we want great things for our lives, but we want it to be easy. We want to stay comfortable. We want good things to be handed to us.
She said this:
“The fulfilling life you seek isn’t found in the safe protection of your comfort zone. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.”
Yes, choosing to do hard, challenging things can be scary and down right hard.
But, when you do that, the reward is so much better.
What would you rather have?
Comfort and complacency or risk and reward?
The brave, bold, beautiful life you seek is on the other side of your comfort zone. It is not staying where you are. It’s moving forward even though you’re scared. It’s taking a step forward even if you’re not sure it’s the right one. It’s being willing to do things that are outside of your skills or abilities.
It’s funny, we often think that outside circumstances or things that happen to us are the things that squash our dreams or prevent us from getting where we want to go.
But that’s not true.
Staying comfortable kills more dreams than anything else.
Comfort is the true dream killer.
Being comfortable FEELS good now. But it gets us nowhere. Comfort tricks us into thinking that staying safe is important and valuable.
But, it’s also the thing that fuels regret. That’s why we look up and think “what have I done with my life?” or wonder why we aren’t farther along.
Fighting inertia is hard. Taking the first steps to get outside of our comfort zone are the most difficult ones.
So, if you are hearing this and feeling badly about where you are, know that you are not alone and that we ALL go through periods of this. Don’t beat yourself up. Just recognize where you are.
Own the fact that you have been playing it safe and comfortable. Vow to get moving and to work that bravery muscle. That’s how you get stronger. That’s how you get braver.
I talk more about this in episode 13. I encourage you to go back and check that one out.
I know that there are so many dreams out there that are waiting to be chased. I know that there are so many people just waiting to step into the life they want.
But, waiting and dreaming won’t get you there. Staying comfortable won’t get you there.
And the bravery will follow.
I know you can do this. I’m rooting for you!
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